When I turned 30, it was ‘The world is mine to do whatever I please.’ I was fearless, eager, a homeowner and ‘IN CONTROL.’ (yeah, right) Then it was 35 — I was more ‘focused and even more in CONTROL. Yeah, yeah.

Then there was the big 4-0!! ‘I’m a full grown woman who’s NOT afraid to ask for what she wants and dares anyone to question me?’ And you can’t forget the ‘Forty and fabulous!!’ adage. It was also ‘It’s about me’ AND ‘I WILL NOT take any BS from anybody, especially MEN!’

Now on to 45. Ok, I’ve run out of quirky quotes. But maybe that’s just it — no more quotes, just authenticity. Classy, Simple, Pure, Uncomplicated. Now the phrase ‘Less is more” makes more sense to me.

Does it really take you saying a million times “I’m in control” to exercise control? Or do you just LIVE it?? Do you really have to DEMAND to be respected or do you COMMAND it just by walking in a room? Does it really take the fake eyelashes to accentuate your eyes? (Well, yeah — not ready to give those up)

I think the answer to “What’s Next?” once I turn 45 this year is simple — be more of who I really am and be okay with that.

I attended a phenomenal focus group yesterday at the Center for Intentional Leadership in Charlotte. Just the name of the company alone speaks volumes. There were about 50 or so women there — all ages, colors and with diverse backgrounds and all yearning to get more out of life.

While the purpose of the focus group was to pick our brains to help with development of a women’s leadership program, most of us couldn’t help but dig a little deeper in asking ourselves ‘Are We Living With Intention?’ I thought I was ahead of the game by living with purpose. I’m doing alot of what I really want to do now. I’m not just living life, but loving the life I’m living. BUT…that nagging question arose — ‘Am i living my life with intention?’

One definition describes ‘intention’ as “A course of action that one intends to follow”; “An aim that guides action”; “An objective.”

Am I doing that??? I feel like I am on a course, I am taking action, but what’s my objective? Am I just moving just to move? A good friend told me once alot of people get caught up in staying busy. But being busy doesn’t necessarily mean making progress. Action doesn’t mean you’re really getting anything done. Wow.

So with that, I’m now NOT being so BUSY and being more ‘intentional’ about my busy – ness (business). It feels different. I’m taking it one day at a time. I’ve created a vision board and a realistic checklist of things to get done and deadlines by which to meet them.

I’ve set a clear objective: Have INTENTION to slowly but surely get my groove back.

And I”m going to be optimistic that it will be — my uncle won’t be drunk and try to dance with me, my long lost cousin won’t try to holler at me and my other cousin WILL NOT show up with a ‘new one’ on his arm only to piss off his latest wife (or girlfriend, which ever she happens to be). That’s right — I’m going to have happy, positive thoughts and a REALLY BIG GLASS OF RED WINE. The one good thing that comes out of all of it, is at least I have FAMILY – dysfunctional, but still FAMILY. Gotta lov’em!

Anyway, soooo extremely calming. Have you ever really tried to NOT THINK?? You can ‘t do it. Even though I was telling myself ‘not to think about work, next steps, follow up calls, family reunion’..I was actually thinking of NOT THINKING of those things. So I decided to just give in and PRAY about freeing my mind from my “to do” list.

Four hours later, I was fully relaxed and rejuvenated — not to mention a little toasty, too:) I learned it pays to actually take time to NOT THINK! It does the body (and brain) good. It gave me a chance to get closer to my Creator. I’ve gain new perspective on what’s next for me and how to get there. Life can be good if you let it.

After 6 or 7 hours of that, it was then off to my ‘other’ gig — changing the lives of middle and high school girls through a non-profit God saw fit for me to create and  run. Forty-five hundred girls later, Girl Talk is still up and running and so am I.

Now it’s board meetings, networking, strategizing, budgeting, marketing and mentoring, hosting, directing, producing and did I mention meetings. Need I go on…which brings me back to my original question: “How do we do it all?” My answer: When it’s purpose-driven and God-directed, you just do.

Now I can’t seem to figure out how I was ever able to have a so called 9 to 5. I thought leaving my radio gig meant I would slow down, have a ‘normal’ life. Well, honestly I’m happy to say that has NEVER happened.

I just don’t think it’s in my DNA to ‘stop or slow down.’ My mom asks me that all the time. “When are you gonna slow down, sweetie?”

I say, “When God says so.”